it's one of those days again.

I like to be quiet. But the more i keep, the more the thoughts run in my head.

And again, i can't find the right words to fully justify this ennui.

or whatever you call it.

I use to run whenever i feel stressed up. Vent my anger on the running shoe. On the track, on my feet which will then result having blisters. On the road, against the wind. It's the only way i feel in control. Control my speed. Control my breathing. Rage against the time. 45 minutes, Finish it or you're the loser.

Yes. I am self critical.

My self concept. I think all these while i got it wrong.

I seem not to know myself anymore.

I know i am not who i once was.

But in what way?

I feel shitty.

There's no one, the room is empty.

I need help.

One of these days i'm gonna go for therapy.

It's been a long while.

I heard there's a doctor there who can do check ups.

Come and check my tongue and analyze the colour of it.

Tell me what's wrong so i know.