very disappointing. No words can justify my heart's pain. I love you so and i have done every bit i could just to make sure you won't fall back. I've tried to understand you, in every minute way i can. I've been very reasonable with you and that the leeway is just to huge. I can't imagine how nice a sister can be. I'm no good enough. I know. You have made me a failure. I thought with all that i did you wouldn't repeat the mistakes i once made. i guess it's all too late now. It's no use. My efforts have all gone to waste. My effort to mold you. Wasted. All down the drain.

Fareza, i am very disappointed in you. This, before my last paper. This, the day before i am supposedly to let all my hair down. The bbq tomorrow, i have no mood and i don't feel like staying over. Severe my mental health. You.

One thing i can't unriddle. why didn't you face the same consequences just like i had abt 11 years ago? i guess you're just plain lucky. You're spared. Like i said, we may have the same parent but we are brought up differently. i'm gonna lose you for now. And when you get back, everything's not gonna be the same.

I want to start over but starting over means getting over so much pain.

I'm not big enough for this i'm not big enough for a lot of things.

i am Extremely disappointed.