because no distraction is ever enough, because they can't do anything, because it doesn't concerns them, because they see me as someone strong because i don't want to appear weak. because all i need is him to talk to because on the other hand, he won't listen for good, because i don't have a boyfriend and these are not the kind of things you'd want to tell. Becausse i think that i am powerless, helpless, hopeless, because i think that this is karma and it does not only hit me, but the rest under the roof as well.Because i hate men, because i think all are the same because i hate you for making feel this way. I hate you for making me so cynical. I hate everyone because i think te whole world are against me. Because time is like a motherfucking bitch showing no mercy to me and i don';t get what i deserve.because i hate people with happy marriages with happy kids. because you've convinced me that marriage is not a possibility. because my heart it shattered and its killing me. becausei am having chest pains and i ahve a breathing problem. i have difficulty sleeping and i don't like noise. because i don't like people who hate my mom. because i cannot forget what the uncle did. because i cannot understand why people can be so nice and so mean at the same time. because i only forgive once. because i believe in once bitten twice shy. because i am too used to secrecy, because i have too much secrets i don't know how to start telling. because i think i am the reason why this all happened. because i hate the kakak. because i hate myself for being such a baby. because bai must be busy with eqa, because my friends either are too happy or my friends have their own problems to theirselves. because yana tak online, because i have a lot to do because i suck at what i do because i dont know if i can complete diploma because i dont have many friends because my acquaintance are just mere presence. because i am tired because i cant talk to fala because the girls in school will ask me why im so quite because i am tired of faking the smile i put on i am tired of putting on a masquerade because i wish i have someone who can read my heay thoughts so i dont ahve to tell and appear motherfuckingly weak because i think i am stressed and i have no other avenue but here in my blog. because i think i need a doctor but what do i say? that i am stressed? because the doctor will again say i have a psychological problem because i think i suck at this. because i am so fucking tired but cant sleep. because i keep waking up in between the hours and thinking of what to do because i am always thinking of how why what. because i cant help myself from questioning god. because i am a failure.